The Message Ball

photograph by CS Marchand

It was a horrible winter morning. I awoke with a start and the unshakable need to get out to Napatree Point. The sun hadn't yet come up and it was freezing with a Nor'easter on it's way. I couldn't shake it....I had to go and go NOW! I got up, threw on some warm clothes and drove over to the beach as the sun was coming up. I walked up the dune and the weather was horrible! It was cold and the wind was blowing so hard it was difficult to hear yourself think. I realized that I was the only one out there, not another soul had ventured out.

It was a perfect morning for scream therapy. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts, no one was ever going to hear me let out all the guttural things that needed to come out. After a scream or, you know....ten....I asked the powers that be for guidance. Should I continue to on the path I found myself?....from the tip of my toes to the top of my head, I asked. I asked for a sign. something....anything....

And then I turned to my left and there, not feet away from me, I found my lime green star ball! How I missed this on the walk out I will never know. It wasn't camouflaged in the sand.... But it was there now....glowing like a beacon. I walked over to it and it wasn't until that moment I realized it was my sign. The ball was covered in stars.

And then that sweet small voice inside me said..."Keep going. This is your purpose."

Less than six months later, I joined Equity and began the next leg of my journey.

That lime green star ball has a permanent home on display in my family room. It sits there visible as an everyday reminder that you can get what you ask for. Just ask with intent and truth and be prepared for anything!

postscript: We closed Hamlet last week end. Did I imagine my Gertrude in cheetah print? No, never. But boy, what an interesting angle it proved to be! To quote a castmate, my costumes were a visual pun... to Hamlet, I was a "cheat ah". I never saw Gertrude in that light, I felt she was a woman who genuinely believes that she has gotten everything she wants. She is blinded and ultimately betrayed by her sexual satisfaction and the throws of that "honeymoon" period. Her tragedy starts with the power she gives her emotion and builds through the realization of betrayal.